Snap Out of It
by curliecues
Summary: Takes place during 3x15. ALIE followers capture Bellamy and the rest of the rescue mission (minus Clarke who's already with Jaha in the throne room) and force Bellamy to take the chip in order to save Octavia. The following is what would happen if it was both Bellamy and Abby trying to convince Clarke.


**Takes place during 3x15. ALIE followers capture Bellamy and the rest of the rescue mission (minus Clarke who's already with Jaha in the throne room) and force Bellamy to take the chip in order to save Octavia. The following is what would happen if it was both Bellamy and Abby trying to convince Clarke.**

After Roan was left bleeding on the already bloody ground outside, ALIE's followers dragged Clarke into the throne room. Her heart lurched when she realized that this was where she had met Lexa all those months ago. Lexa, who was now dead and would be itching to decapitate anyone who laid a hand on Clarke. Well, Lexa certainly had her schedule booked. It seemed every Grounder and Ark member waited patiently for ALIE's next command. Clarke surveyed the room, glaring fiercely at Jaha, who only gave her a condescending smirk that she wanted to slap off. She growled as he slowly stepped closer to her, the former farm station members digging their fingers into her arm to stop her from throwing herself at him, or making a run for the door. Either would be satisfying. Jaha stopped in front of her, mouth turned up in a smile but eyes cold and unwavering. He had his arms clasped behind his back and she could tell he was about to preach….again. She blew a stray hair out of her eye as he began his "good cop" routine.

"Clarke, Clarke, Clarke. What a predicament you let your friends get you into. Using you as bait? Knowing this plan couldn't possibly work." He began pacing around her. When he was practically perched on her shoulder he whispered, "Seems they threw you under the bus." Clarke set her jaw, knowing he was clearly trying to rile her up. She'd had enough of ALIE's psychological tricks.

"Give it a rest. I'm not telling you anything." Jaha gave a soft chuckle, as if this was a normal conversation between two old friends.

"Tell us what Clarke? That they're handcuffed in the dungeon, getting more bruised and battered the longer you stall the inevitable?" Clarke gave a short gasp. She only had to imagine Bellamy and the others getting dragged away to God knows where and she was on the verge of tears. She took a deep breath, remembering that her friends were resourceful, they were the fucking 100. They were criminals, breaking out of a cell would be nothing. She let this wave of confidence shine through, almost cracking a genuine smile when she replied,

"Seems to me you do need something, or else I'd be down there with them. Trouble in paradise?" Jaha raised a hand to backhand her when a voice from the doorway yelled,

"Enough!" Clarke's eyes widened as she watched her mother stride into the throne room.

"Mom?" Clarke croaked out around the lump in her throat. She couldn't breathe as her mother embraced her and said,

"I missed you so much." Clarke closed her eyes, imagining for a moment that this was really her mom, that they weren't surrounded by people controlled by an A.I in a red dress. Then she opened her eyes and looked her mom in her glazed over eyes.

"Mom, don't do this." Abby gave a small smile.

"Do what Clarke? Hug my daughter? Don't tell me you chose now to go through your rebellious phase?"

"I think she began that phase when she first landed here." Jaha added from behind Abby.

"No thanks to you." Clarke threw back. Abby placed her hands on Clarke's shoulders.

"Hey, Clarke, look at me." Clarke did, knowing what was coming. "Just talk to me. Help me help our people. I know that's what you want."

"I _am_ helping our people." Abby frowned.

"Clarke, don't make us be the bad guys. This can be easy. Just tell us the pass phrase." Clarke remained firm, but tears threatened to fall freely down her face.

"No." Jaha silently approached Abby's left shoulder and tilted his head so he was speaking directly into her ear, yet Clarke could still make out what he was saying.

"I knew she'd be like this Abby. Please, rest. Let me deal with her." Abby sighed then looked Clarke in the eye one last time. Clarke had a bad taste in her mouth as she realized her mom actually believed in ALIE's cause.

"Clarke. For me. What's the pass phrase?" Silence. Without hesitation Abby stepped away and Jaha stepped forward. Clarke prepared for a knife or fist but instead she got words that were even worse.

"Get me Bellamy Blake." Immediately Clarke began writhing against her captors.

"NO!" She struggled until one of the guards kicked her in the back of the knee, forcing her to crumple to the ground. "Don't you dare!"

"Then tell us what we need, Clarke. It's a simple game of give and take."

"Yeah? How bout I give you a swift kick in the ass and the rest of you take note!" Jaha shook his head.

"I know you think that rage is fueling you, but one day it'll run out." Suddenly the large doors opened and Bellamy entered as if taking a stroll through the park, even though blood from a ghastly wound in his thigh trickled down his leg. Clarke winched at his cuts and bruises, his hair matted to one place from another wound, and the blood under his nose already drying. A blood vessel had popped in his eye and made it seem red. He looked like hell, but he was walking as if he was on cloud nine. If ALIE wasn't torturing people and stealing their memories, Clarke might actually marvel at this chip. When he saw Clarke he broke out into a smile and Clarke was sad to note that it looked foreign on his face. Bellamy strode over to Clarke and extended a callused hand to her. She looked up at him, speechless. He grinned wider.

"I won't bite." He teased. Clarke just stared, completely horrified. She noted his glazed over eyes and faraway look. She felt all the resolve in her weaken as she accepted that the only person who could get her through this mess was now against her. She shook her head as she breathed,

"You took the chip." She still hadn't taken his hand so he gently placed a hand under her arm and lifted her up. When she stood frozen in front of him he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, like he had weeks ago when he found her with Roan. She tried to remain strong but a tear slipped out. "Hey, it's alright. Really, Clarke, it's not that bad."

"What was your mother's name?" Bellamy scrunched his eyebrows together, looking like he was solving a math problem. Clarke's bottom lip quivered as she realized the damage was done. Her Bellamy was gone. After another second of thinking Bellamy replied, "Huh. I don't really remember." He shrugged. _Shrugged_. Clarke took a step back from him.

"Yes, it is that bad." Bellamy gave her another grin and shook his head, approaching her like she was a wild animal he wanted to tame. "Clarke please, now's not the time to be stubborn." She gave a humorous-less laugh as she kept backing up.

"I think now is the ideal time to be stubborn. A few hours ago you would agree with me." Bellamy kept approaching her, his hand extended as if to make contact with her again.

"I was being stupid, which we both know isn't out of the ordinary for me." He gave a chuckle but he had stopped smiling. His tone was severe as he barked her name at her. "You always have to make everything so hard don't you?" Clarke was now pressed up against the wall, knowing she should be searching for an escape route but unable to tear her eyes from Bellamy's twisted face. "You had to negotiate with Lexa at Mount Weather. You had to have her troops. You had to kill Cage point blank and watch the life go out of preschoolers' lungs."

"Bell, stop, you don't mean this."

"You had to send me in there to _die._ I was expendable. I was nothing to you. A chess piece."

"That's not true! I gave you the job because I trusted you!"

"Job? Clarke that was a suicide mission. The worst part?" He stopped when he was nose to nose with her, she was practically going cross-eyed staring at him. "You didn't even blink an eye giving me the order." Clarke's blood was boiling. She knew ALIE was telling him to push her buttons but ALIE wasn't creating these insults out of thin air; everything he said he had meant at one time or another. He wasn't a robot, he was still Bellamy. He just didn't walk and talk like him. He was drilling a hole through her head with his glare. She could see the hatred in his eyes and she felt sick. She placed a hand on his chest, both to show affection and to keep him at arm's length if needed. She searched his eyes for some sign of understanding, of hesitation at what he was doing. All she saw was loathing.

"Bellamy, please, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you. I know I said some things I shouldn't have and I'd take them back if I could, but frankly, I've accepted it." She could feel Bellamy's chest rising and falling beneath her hand. "The great thing about us Bell? We understand each other. We're not perfect and we make up for what the other lacks. You think it was easy for me, pulling that lever and killing all those innocent lives? Fuck no. But you made sure I didn't do it alone." She was breathing heavy, knowing she was taking a shot baring her soul to him. "Together remember?" Bellamy stared at her, face expressionless. Jaha and Abby both moved closer, waiting to see if Bellamy could actually break through. After what felt like years Bellamy took Clarke's hand in his, holding it for a second before letting it drop back down to her side. He took a step back from her, expression still unreadable.

"Clarke." She held her breath, waiting for confirmation. He stared at her for a few seconds before shooting his arm out and wrapping his fingers around her throat. Clarke gasped, unable to comprehend what was happening. She clawed at Bellamy's strong hand, trying to release his iron grip.

"Bell-" she tried to get out, as Bellamy lifted her a few inches off the ground. He clenched his jaw as his muscles tightened from exertion. His eyes were soulless as he stated,

"Take the chip." Surprisingly it wasn't Abby who stopped Bellamy, but ALIE herself. She appeared next to Clarke, calm, hands folded as she watched Bellamy strangle her. She tilted her head and said,

"Stop. We need her. She's the only one who can perform the ascension." Bellamy looked at ALIE, brow furrowed. Finally he complied and let go of Clarke, who fell to the floor with a thud and sputtered for air. She looked around at all of ALIE's drones, glaring at each of them in turn. She rubbed her throat as she hoarsely stated,

"Might as well kill me. I'll never help you." Bellamy growled and slapped her. Clarke lay breathless on the cold floor, staring at the ceiling in denial. This couldn't be her life, this couldn't be what it came down to, how it all ended. She touched her cheek with a shaking hand, gears turning in her head as to what her next move could be. As Clarke gathered her bearings on the floor ALIE returned.

"Bellamy," she began gently, "perhaps a different approach would be more efficient." Bellamy took his eyes off a battered Clarke and brought them to the raven haired A.I. She gave him a warm smile and continued, "You are important to her. She cares for your wellbeing." There was a mischievous glint in ALIE's artificial eyes. "Use this to your advantage." Bellamy nodded in compliance. He slowly walked towards Clarke, who was still gulping for air. He cupped her face with his hand, the same one that moments ago had inflicted damage. She pushed it away and continued coughing.

"I'm sorry Clarke. You don't deserve this." Clarke finally met Bellamy's gaze.

"No shit." She deadpanned.

"I just lose my head when it comes to you." The room was silent as Clarke noted Bellamy's change in demeanor. ALIE appeared again, over Clarke's shoulder.

"Keep going Bellamy." Bellamy focused back on Clarke, who yet again couldn't tear her gaze from him.

"You've always been my weakness. You're the only person whose opinion I trust besides my own. I can't do anything alone. The minute you're gone I just fuck everything up." Clarke placed her hand over Bellamy's.

"No Bell that's not true. People listen to you. You care about them, you always have their best interest at heart and they know that. They'd follow you anywhere. Don't devalue yourself." Bellamy wouldn't meet her gaze and Clarke could feel the atmosphere in the room change. "Bellamy look at me. Please." He didn't. Instead a tear fell from his face.

"I'm sorry." He repeated as he stood up and walked towards Jaha. Clarke just stared after him, trying to assess the situation.

"Bellamy what-" Her eyes bulged as she saw Jaha remove his gun from its holster and solemnly place it in Bellamy's hand. "Bellamy no stop! Bellamy!" He ignored her as he clicked the safety off and nodded at Jaha. Clarke knew what they were planning. "I know ALIE wants you to hurt yourself to get to me but please see how fucked up this is and snap out of it! Think of Octavia." He addressed her over his shoulder,

"I'm always thinking of Octavia." Clarke slowly got to her feet, scared that Bellamy would prematurely use that gun before she even got a rebuttal out.

"Please, listen to me. No one wants you to shoot yourself. Just give me the gun and we can talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about. You're the one they need. You're useful, like you've always been. I'm just in the way, always getting our people killed. I don't deserve this happiness." He twisted the gun in his hand, observing its many pieces. Clarke remained rooted to her spot, afraid he would do something if she made a run at him.

"You want me to agree with you? To tell you you don't deserve to be happy?" Bellamy looked up at her. "Well fine I will. You don't deserve whatever ALIE calls this neural manipulation. This isn't what happiness is. So don't do something stupid because you think you owe it to them, because they gave you something you don't think you can have." Their eyes were locked, their connection and chemistry undeniable even to ALIE. Clarke was trying not to sob as she continued. "We can be happy someday Bell, I promise. But not with ALIE in charge. Especially not with you dead." Jaha stepped forward, unnerved.

"Bellamy you can't seriously be considering her lies? ALIE just wants what's best for you."

"Spare me the sermon Jaha I don't believe her, I'm just humoring her. Besides," he brought the gun close to his mouth, "it's already done." He was about to pull the trigger when ALIE and Clarke both commanded stop. Everyone froze as Bellamy stared quizzically at ALIE. Tears were steaming down Clarke's face as she thanked God that he was still _breathing_. ALIE calmly stated,

"She will take the chip. There's no need for that." She nodded at the gun and Bellamy strapped it to his empty holster. Clarke ran into Bellamy's arms, stroking his hair as Abby commanded the farm station men to retrieve her. Bellamy stood cold and stoic, seemingly unfazed at the near-death experience at his own hand. Clarke shook off the men's forceful hands and held on to Bellamy tighter. Jaha gave a rough cough.

"Enough of this Clarke. Either take the chip now or I kill Bellamy myself." Clarke took her head off of Bellamy's shoulder and stared at him, their faces mere centimeters apart. He remained calm and collected, while her wild eyes drank in every living part of him, memorizing him. She gave a small smile as she slowly took the gun from Bellamy's hip. He didn't notice until it was in her hand and she was several feet away. She stood opposite Jaha, Abby, Ontari, and Bellamy who were all staring at her, waiting. ALIE tilted her head as she tried to understand Clarke's actions. Clarke looked down at the gun in her hand, her body shaking with fear and adrenaline. Then she flipped the gun so the barrel was pressed against her forehead. Everyone lunged for her but she yelled,

"Come any closer and I'll do it." She hated what she was doing to her mom and Bellamy, but she reminded herself that the only reason they were concerned was because ALIE told them to be. Jaha spoke up,

"Clarke you're making this unnecessarily difficult. Would you really off yourself just so your people could suffer alone, haunted by their painful memories?"

"Those memories are what drive them to be better. Without them what are we fighting for?" Bellamy stepped in.

"Clarke you told me we could be happy. If you meant that, don't threaten to do this. You'd be hurting me more than yourself." Clarke gave a smirk.

"Well if it's so painful, ALIE won't let you remember it." Abby tried next.

"My darling girl, please. Let us help you." Clarke shook her head, the gun still plastered to it.

"No. I refuse to do the ascension and I won't be forced to watch you torture each and every one of my friends till I do. It's the only option."

"Clarke please!" Bellamy yelled and Clarke almost put down the gun, but she reminded herself it was ALIE talking, not her best friend. She took one last look at her chipped mother, wishing things could be different, then put her finger on the trigger. Right before she pulled the throne room doors slammed open and soon Jaha was on the ground with a bullet in his arm and Octavia was restraining Bellamy. ALIE stared at the incoming delinquents in horror. She addressed Abby and Ontari, the only chipped members still standing, Miller having taken out the farm station men seconds ago.

"We cannot let them have you Ontari." Abby grabbed Ontari's dagger and lunged for her throat, Clarke forced to watch from across the room.

"Someone stop her!" Clarke screamed but it was too late. Ontari already lay bleeding on the floor, her black blood pouring onto the tile. "Mom what did you do!" She sobbed as Murphy swatted the dagger out of Abby's hand. Their last chance was dead and the worst part was that Abby and Bellamy were grinning, victorious. Murphy looked at Clarke.

"What now? We can't just keep them handcuffed forever." Octavia stepped in,

"Where's the thing Raven made? Let's us it on one of them." When no one agreed she glared and yelled, "Well I don't see you geniuses suggesting anything!" Clarke sighed and looked at her mom, knowing that with a nightblood corpse on their hands, if they had even the slightest sliver of hope left, they'd need her medical expertise. Then she looked at Bellamy, still grinning at their apparent failure. Her steely eyes bore into him as she stated,

"Don't worry, we'll fix this."

Clarke opened her eyes, tears spilling out as she was forced to say goodbye to Lexa for the second time. She surveyed her surroundings, taking in the many tearful reunions and the unbearable sight of her people reliving their worst memories. She watched Kane crumple to the floor and noticed her mom longing to comfort him.

"Mom." Abby turned to her and Clarke placed a hand on her shoulder. "Go to him. He needs you."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, now go. Besides," she looked up, spotting Bellamy hunched over, vomiting on the carpet. "I have to do something." They parted and Clarke rushed over to Bellamy, whose body was shaking. She touched his face and he slowly lifted his head to look at her. He started to sob and she embraced him, starting to cry herself.

"I'm so sorry Clarke. I'm so sorry." He said between sobs. Clarke squeezed him tighter.

"It's alright Bell I'm here. Everyone's okay."

"They made me take it. To save Octavia."

"Shhh I know, I know. You did the right thing."

"Did I though? I hit you Clarke. I tried to kill you!" He untangled himself from Clarke's warm arms. He then noticed the puncture wounds from the needles. "What's that?" He had missed the blood transfusion, her journey into the City of Light, her brush with death as Ontari's blood fought against her. Clarke played it off.

"You know the usual, injecting myself with nightblood." He raised an eyebrow. "Taking the chip." His eyes widened.

"You what?!" More tears spilled out as he added, "Don't tell me I forced it down your throat?"

"No you had no part in this. After Octavia restrained you she knocked you out. We used Raven's contraption to disengage my mom from ALIE's control and she performed a blood transfusion between me and Ontari. Then I took the chip, as if I was the next commander." Bellamy just stared at her in amazement. "Bellamy we did it."

"No, _you_ did it. I tried to kill myself and when that failed, you tried to kill yourself." Then he gave a soft laugh. "You really were serious about together weren't you." Clarke laughed then pulled him in for another hug. Bellamy sniffled and nuzzled his head into her neck. After a while he said, "I'm sorry about that stuff I said." He broke from the hug and looked at Clarke face to face. "I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did. And that's okay."

"I said some pretty fucked up things Clarke."

"Well you're delivery was pretty harsh but ALIE doesn't make shit up. Everything you said you had meant at some point. And honestly? You had a right to be pissed." She gazed at him, at her best friend, a man who had been knocked down more times than she could count, oftentimes by her own hand. "I never should have sent you into Mount Weather." Bellamy shrugged.

"I would've done it anyway. It may have been a suicide mission but it was a good plan."

"That's not the point. I shouldn't have sent you in there as if you were…" she thought back to what he had said to her when chipped, "well, expendable. Love isn't weakness and I was stupid to let Lexa get in my head like that."

"Don't beat yourself up too much. That policy worked out for her pretty well."

"True but we don't run things like she does. She's the commander, her 'ascension ceremony' is them putting a fucking A.I in her head. We're not like them. We're a team Bellamy and I was acting like I was above you." She looked down and watched her tears pool on the bloody tile. "Can you forgive me?" Bellamy brushed her tears away.

"Only if you can forgive me for strangling you." He brushed his thumb over the slightly pink mark on her cheek, where he had slapped her. "And for hitting you." She nodded.

"I also have to say something else. When you were about to," she didn't know how to phrase it, "you know, you said some pretty nasty things about yourself." Bellamy removed his hand from her cheek and wouldn't look at her. "I know you feel that way sometimes. You've been wrestling with that feeling ever since you thought you killed Jaha on the Ark. But please listen to me when I say that you aren't useless. Remember what I told you when we first landed? When you were doubting yourself?" Bellamy had begun to silently cry, tears streaming down his cheeks at how vulnerable their conversation had become. Clarke knew him so well, knew exactly why he felt certain things and knew how to help him, how to heal him. She was his best friend. And he had almost made her kill herself. Clarke continued when it looked like Bellamy wasn't going to answer. "I told you that our people were willing to fight and die for you. That you inspire them. That I couldn't have kept us all alive without you." She took his hands in hers. "I need you Bellamy." Clarke's heart was beating fast, her words having poured out of her so quickly she felt she was still catching up. Bellamy still wasn't looking her in the eye but he rubbed his thumb against her hand, a gesture he normally wouldn't have done but the circumstances were certainly not normal. He finally looked up at her. He was about to respond when Octavia came running over, throwing her arms around him. Clarke stood up and backed away, letting them have their moment. Bellamy shut his eyes, enjoying a hug he never thought he'd get from Octavia again. Even with his wound, Bellamy stood up, lifting Octavia with him and he squeezed her tighter. Octavia finally released him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You okay big brother?" Bellamy gave a lopsided grin at the mention of the moniker she used to call him by.

"I've had better days." Even Clarke chuckled from her spot a little ways away from them. Octavia finally noticed Clarke was there and dove into a speech about what happened when they were captured.

"You should've seen him Clarke. He was doing everything he could to get out of there and get to you. He probably would have if," she paused, clearly uncomfortable with this part of the story, "if they hadn't put a knife to my throat and forced Bellamy to take the chip." Bellamy frowned.

"What was I going to do? Let them kill you?" He scoffed. Octavia smiled and shoved him playfully.

"God knows I gave you a reason to." The smile left their faces. "I'm sorry I blamed you for Lincoln's death. I know you never wanted that to happen and I shouldn't have beat the shit out of you either." This was news to Clarke.

"You what?"

"Clarke it's fine. It's between us and I'm choosing to move past it." He looped an arm around Octavia and pulled her in for a side hug, kissing her head. She squirmed out of his embrace, rolling her eyes, and then went to find Indra. They were alone again. Clarke approached him, wringing her hands at all the unspoken words between them. Bellamy just stared at her, the image of her holding a gun to her head glued to his mind's eye. Clarke smiled tentatively.

"Penny for you thoughts."

"Oh you don't want to know."

"By saying that you just told me. Now stop beating yourself up and help me figure out how to save us all. Again." You could physically see a weight placed on Bellamy's shoulder.

"I'm not sure if you were there but that literally just happened." Clarke flung her arms out.

"Well it seems someone wants an encore. So, are you gonna help me?"

"Depends. How bad is it?"

"Pretty bad."

"I'm in."

"I knew you would be." They both stood looking at each other, the gravity of this secret weighing them down, making them feel as if they were in their own bubble. They watched their people reunite, assurances that everything would be okay echoed through the room and they both grimaced, knowing that there was a chance it wouldn't be. They could all die in a few months' time. Just like that. Extinct. This fact seemed to dawn on Bellamy a little longer than it did Clarke and when he turned to look at her, it seemed he was looking at her through a haze. Then something inside him clicked. He moved closer to her and she didn't notice until she turned to face him again. She laughed awkwardly. "What are you doing?"

"Kick starting the end of the world." Then he placed a hand on her cheek and leaned down, his lips meeting hers. She was startled at first, but she got the idea. She closed her eyes and deepened the kiss, though not as much as she wanted to but her mother was still in the room as well as most of her friends. She marveled at what they were doing and a million questions flew through her head. Then Bellamy's hand was in her hair and his scent was overpowering her. That scent of Bellamy, sweat and earth and something that was so _him_ she couldn't describe it. Bellamy himself didn't have a single thing on his mind except Clarke. The feel of her soft lips with the lingering taste of cooper and her tangled hair knitting itself between his fingers. He wanted this to last forever, this intimate moment where he let himself be completely controlled by his emotions, but he was smart. He knew they had other priorities and that people would start to look soon. He slowly eased his lips off hers and when she opened her eyes he couldn't help but smile. It was contagious and soon a grin spread across her face, one he hadn't seen in a long time. He put his hands back at his side and blushed.

"Any chance I can blame lingering ALIE thoughts for that?" Clarke started laughing, the incredulity of what happened hitting her.

"Well then I'll say ALIE got one thing right." Bellamy's jaw almost hit the floor at Clarke's remark; he hadn't seen this side of her since Unity Day all those months ago. Her grin remained as she walked by him, going over to her mother and embracing her. Bellamy didn't realize he was staring until Miller and Bryan coughed, suddenly beside him. He shook his head and looked at their smug faces. He turned serious and gruffly said,

"Shut it." Then walked out of the throne room.


End file.
